This is going to be a killer week at work.

This classic British sign has never seemed more appropriate.



Makes me breathe easier just looking at it.

My week can best be expressed through this photo.

Discuss amongst yourselves.

This is only a test.

In honor of all the standardized academic testing going on this week all over Texas, I give you this little video, which I think is as hilarious (but not as worrying) as the infamous 911 warthog call.



Good luck and if you need help, don't hesitate to call someone.
Just maybe not during the actual test.

I'd rather be called a bitch than a nerd.

Today I honed in on my trigger word: nerd.

I said something silly today to a coworker and she walked out of my office, laughing. Then she threw a word over her shoulder, "Nerd."
My smile drooped. I felt sad and well, nerdy.
I probably wouldn't have even stopped to think about it, except the same thing happened to me a couple months back on Facebook! An old friend from elementary school wrote on my wall, "You're still a nerd."
OK, yes, she wrote it in response to my claim that if Jane Austen were alive today, she'd totally be my BFF. I suppose that may have been asking for it, but it still made me feel kind of bad and like I was the last one picked for teams at kickball or something (which I always was, by the way).

In school, the number one word I was called was "nerd." I heard it at least once every single day circa fifth to ninth grade. Sometimes it was me who was using the word. But it's still a label. Other labels that flew around in the air on a regular basis were: fat, stupid, ugly, slut. Plus many others. You may remember them. By all accounts, the word "nerd" isn't so bad at all. It just so happens it's the one that was directed at me and the one I maybe even labeled myself. Weird.

After thinking through these awkward leftover middle school feelings, I decided to just own it. Be a nerd! Take the word back. Now I just need to get this shirt to complete my moving forward process.

Work coffee etiquette

I realize Emily Post never wrote about how to approach the conventions of coffee at work. But I work with a person (known henceforward as Ms. Aardvark) who really doesn't know the first thing about the social rules of the shared coffee pot.

Exhibit A:


As you can clearly read, you must wait until the coffee is finished brewing before you remove the carafe. Perhaps Wonder Woman or some superhero equipped with superfast speed and agility would be able to remove the carafe, pour a cup of coffee, and replace it before any coffee dripped out and got cauterized on the two-dollar burner. Unfortunately, you, Ms. Aardvark, do not possess those powers. You do, however, have the ability to read. And the signage is clear and concise. You wouldn't choose to ignore it day after day, would you, Ms. Aardvark?

I'd also like to draw your attention to a common container for coffee:



You may also be familiar with this variety, used often when traveling from one place to another:



Some people even choose to use this type of container for coffee, when they want to have a large amount:



You could realistically bring any one of these containers into my room to retrieve some coffee for yourself.

(Although I would accuse you of bogarting if you used the thermos.
And I'd be right.)

What you wouldn't use, Ms. Aardvark, would be a plastic shaker like this:



These containers are typically used for mixing salad dressing, or... well, they're mostly used for salad dressing.

Furthermore, you wouldn't pour the coffee into the salad dressing shaker through the pour spout, causing everyone to wonder if the pour spout were clean, or if you'd in fact, just used it as a sippy cup and thus, spread your germs to everyone in the office.

You wouldn't commit these hideous offenses, would you, Ms. Aardvark?

Oh yes. Yes, you would.

Can I just say that I love my job?

And I know you're not supposed to say that, especially out loud. But today, back at work, I wasn't lamenting the end of my summer vacation. I was thinking about how lucky I am to work where I work, with the people I work with, and that maybe just maybe, I have the best gig ever.

I should probably blog.

It's been a while.
But all I'm doing at the moment is working six days a week,
trying to say "yes" to weight training and cardio and "no" to junk food,
going to bed before 10 on a regular basis because of allergies or exhaustion,
and trying to bring myself to face rewriting the end of my book.
Again.
So when you put all that together, it's not so much fun.
And not so much the stuff of great blogs.
I'm sure you understand.

So it's been awhile since my last post.

Sorry about that, but I have some good excuses. Well, sort of.

1. I just got a new position for the fall. I'm going to be the Language Arts Instructional Specialist at my school. Most middle schools and high schools have instructional specialists for both English and Math. In some places, they're called instructional coaches, or curriculum specialists, or maybe something else I don't know about. What it really means is that I won't have regular classes, but I'll be supporting all the other language arts teachers with their lessons and planning and so on. I'm anticipating days full of meetings and observations, but I'm excited about the challenge. It's also considered a promotion, and the recognition feels really nice.

2. I'm still waiting to hear back from the literary agent in NY. By tomorrow, they should have had my MS for five weeks, so it's getting close to the point that I'll hear back. Every day I get a rush of adrenaline as I walk to the mailbox, and every day I feel disappointed as I open it to find crappy catalogs, bills and credit card offers. Sometimes I even check the mail twice a day, just in case. I'm not so good at waiting.

3. We took a break from marathons of Meerkat Manor and went to the Alamo on Friday night to see the new Die Hard movie. I had never seen any of them (although now I have!) and it was fantastically fun. I highly recommend it. Yippie-ki-yay!

4. I'm already back to school, even though it's not August yet. Last week I had meetings and planning sessions. Starting tomorrow I'm helping with a two-week transition camp for incoming 6th graders. The kids will probably be really little and cute. I sort of wish they could stay that way....

5. I've gotten my YouTube fix lately, and in the meantime, discovered that America loves two things: Star Wars



and Legos.


And...Star Wars and Legos together.